Friday, September 28, 2012

Dear Mr. Webster,

Dear Mr. Webster,

I've given this post a lot of thought. Please don't take offense to my brash terminology in describing how I really feel about you, and the definition provided in your dictionary for an aforementioned word "Parent."

To emphasize the vague nature of the definition used, I have provided it here for reference.

1par·ent

noun \ˈper-ənt\
1
a : one that begets or brings forth offspring
b : a person who brings up and cares for another
2
a : an animal or plant that is regarded in relation to its offspring 

.......give me a moment. 

Breathe..........

Breathe..........

Ok. First of all......YOU..........Mr. MAN!-
      -may have forgot a few descriptive sentences-

c: a person who is willing to sacrifice copious amounts of sleep to ensure the safety and comfort of their sleeping child.
d: a person who neglects their own self hygiene (sometimes for days) in order to never leave a child unattended, even for a single moment. 
e: a person who places all childhood dreams on hold, or deletes completely, in order to facilitate the dreams of their child.
f; a person who mistakenly is complemented on their french manicure in wal-mart just to embarrassingly admit that it is in fact not a manicure, but is desitin caked under their nails. 
g: a person who takes up residence in their buffet pants, in order to be prepared to cuddle on the couch and take a nap at a moments notice (granted there are no other children that require attention or need in the time it will take to take a nap.) 
h: a person who replaces close friendships with adults for a close relationship with "Max and Ruby, Bubble Guppies, Blues Clues, and Yo Gabba Gabba"
i: a person who tolerates "Yo Gabba Gabba" 
j: a person who looks at their child and unwillingly beings to cry because the idea of being trusted with such a beautiful gift is so overwhelming.
k: a person who chooses their tiny human over them selves, over and over and over again.
l: a person who understands the value of innocence, chases butterflies, believes in the color pink, thinks mud is a cure all, jumps higher than any kid on the trampoline (to show how great it is to be grown up), and is warm even when it is cold outside. 
m: a person who prays for one more day, every day.
n: a person who understands that their ultimate goal is to raise a child, into an adult, that will one day leave to begin their own successful attempt at life, with the full understanding that the moment they leave, your heart leaves with them; wherever they go.
o: a person who allows their heart to walk around outside of their body. 
p: a person who stays awake all night to study, because building a fort in the front room was more important during the day. 
q: a person who forgets what it feels like to go to the bathroom alone.
r: a person who is capable of making up a voice for every toy your child decides to humanize.
s: a person who is consistently apologizing for the mess to all guests who dare tread into the childhood dream home, because you have set up a road way on the floor, that spans the entire length of the house, and there is just no room for giant monsters to walk through town. 
t: a person who takes off their warm dry gloves, to exchange them for a tiny pair of sopping wet frozen mittens.
u: a person who is baffeled by the ability of tiny socks to stand up, walk around, and hide in the most inconspicuous places to avoid being placed in a matched pair on a child's foot. 
v: a person who is so filled with inexplicable love that it threatens to explode their heart at any given second.
w: a person who worries in such great detail that the idea of stalking their child, and embarrassing them in public is the absolute least of their worries. 
x: a person who is as excited, if not more excited about Christmas, Easter, Halloween, a lost tooth, and Disney land than their child. 
y: a person who reflects on their work at the end of each day......a person who is too tired to reflect on their work at the end of each day, but rests assured that they absolutely did the best they could.
z: a person who clings to every second of every day spent in the presence of any child as a gift. 
.........blah blah blah.....you get the point. 

In regard to your recent on-line publication, please take note that a link may be drawn directly to this page to give people a slightly more realistic approach to parenting. Keep in mind, this only scratches the surface, granted we only have 26 letters in the alphabet. 

I think the most important definition (and one i didn't include in my preliminary list) would probably go as follows.

A1: a person who's intentions lie, unwavering, in the best interest of a child, with a fair understanding of failure (despite your best efforts) being inevitable, and success never being recognized (because success is always given to the child). 

Mr. Webster, I am a parent as you have described in a:. However, due to extenuating circumstances, I cannot repeat that process and "bring forth more offspring."  I would like to be a parent in all descriptions (except the plant thing....that is a little much for me). I would like to be b : a person who brings up and cares for another. 

Sincerely,

Carrie Mae Mair

This is the type of parent I want to be. This is the type of parent I try to be every day. Failure is inevitable in certain aspects, I am a witness of mass proportions to that. And success is given to the child, as a victory in their life regardless of the scope. Being a small part of that is enough. My family and I want another child, to show these things to. We would like to adopt a baby. If you have one, or know of one that may need a parent or two, we fit the description. Please feel free to contact us, any time, day or night.

Carrie Mae 435-724-8511
Kenny 435-724-8512

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